Breakdown

So I went straight from work Saturday morning and drove to see the internet women. Once I had got started I turned on the gps and found out that it was much further than she had told me. “Fuck it” I thought, I was on my way and might as well keep going. I wasn’t even sure if I had enough gas money to get there, but after some quick calculations I figured I was ok. 4 hours later and tired out of my skull I arrived. She was all I expected, but I was just tired. After I came I rolled over and slept for 3 hours, woke up, fucked her again for a good hour, kissed her goodbye and got in my car to drive home. It was all very nice, but way to far to drive. When I had driven for about an hour the car broke down in the middle of the woods on a dark freeway. Typically me to get in situations like this, and all I could do was step outside of myself for a minute and laugh. There I was, midnight in the middle of the woods 300 kilometers from home, car broke down cold as hell and no money. I did the only the only thing one can do in a situation like this and stuck my thumb out and hoped for the best. Ass always things worked out and five hours later I was home. Car was fucked, I was tired and hungry, but at least I got laid.
It’s Sunday now and I’m on my ship writing. I hate Sundays, the loneliness is to apparent, and impossible to hide from. I keep missing the girl that I had to cut out of my life. I miss her and the disappointment of her turning her back on me so easily stings. But I have felt that prick many times before and deal with it well, even though it hurts as bad as the first time. Some things in life make us stronger. Hardships, obstacles that seem impossible to overcome or crisis’s, all help build character and make us better people, able to be empathic towards others, and grow as individuals. But being let down is not character building in any way, it only teaches you not to trust. It may be seem as though I am putting to much emphasis on a woman I only knew for some months, but if my life was a movie, she would have been the one who showed me that you can trust and rely on others, after a lifetime of being let down by those that were supposed to take care of you and give you love. But alas, it’s not a movie, and if it is it doesn’t seem as though I am the director. But who knows, maybe something good is just around the corner for me, until then all I can do is put my head down and keep trudging forward.
Until next time, with love…